Advocate: An Exploration of Caring for our Mother

I. The Day Dad Passed Away

My father, Bob Marotto, died suddenly on the morning of Sunday, November 15, 2020. It was not due to the coronavirus, but a case of bronchitis that led to a lack of oxygen, that led to 40 minutes of cardiopulmonary resuscitation efforts.

Had my dad lived, the lack of oxygen to his brain would have left him a shell of himself. In the end, well the end still sucks.

It turns out that my dad died on his parents wedding anniversary, a fact I learned by his only living sibling, my uncle. What, if any, significance this has may be explored during this year of writing.

I had started writing an essay series after my father-in-law (also named Bob) passed in 2018. In this case, my wife, Jenn, and mother-in-law, Sandy, were in many ways relieved. Jenn’s dad had been diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s in June 2011. Alzheimer’s chips away at a person, killing them by inches, until the person they were no longer exists. The big difference between baby proofing a house and Alzheimer’s proofing a house is that you don’t have to worry that the person with Alzheimer’s will learn anything, so locks and other redirects don’t actually have to be that complex. Ultimately Jenn’s dad passed-away from pancreatic cancer, and after seven years of progressive decline, while sad, his passing was a bitter blessing.

Looking back, I do wish I had kicked myself into gear and finished the first essay series before now. Time and life have altered my perceptions, never to be returned to, but in the immortal writing of Kurt Vonnegut, “So it goes.”

Note: This essay was written in March 2021, and I put off publishing until June 2021.